


Wingman

by FoxGlade



Series: early bird 'verse [3]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Matchmaking, Miscommunication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-23 01:36:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17070995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxGlade/pseuds/FoxGlade
Summary: “I'm leaving in a week, and I'm not leaving Sammy here still pining after Jack, okay?” he says firmly. “So either you help me get them together, or I'm signing onto your lease when you renew it next month and permanently moving into your brother’s bedroom.”An empty threat. He's already stopped sleeping with Jack after an amicable discussion, and there's no way he's staying away from King Falls for another year, but Lily doesn't know how far he's willing to commit to screwing up her life. She taps a finger on her arm and strengthens her glare. Ben refuses to break.“Fine,” she says eventually, with a tone that says she already regrets everything. “What's the plan, shortstack?”(Ben tries his hand at matchmaking. Sammy and Jack do their unwitting best to keep up.)





	Wingman

“I'm sure you're wondering why I've gathered you all here today,” Ben says, leaning on the desk in an authoritative manner. “There’s a serious situation happening in this household, and as a household, we have to address it.”

He straightens up and gestures to the whiteboard and the scrawled notes on it. “As you can see, I've highlighted the main issues here, with possible solutions--” He taps one side of the board. He probably should have invested in one of those pointer sticks. Where do people even get those? Not important. “--over here. I hope we can all come together to fix this and be stronger as a family.”

He folds his arms and faces his audience. Lily stares back from the lone chair he'd dragged into the unused downstairs office, unimpressed.

“You know you don't actually live here, right?” she says.

“Details,” Ben replies. “Are you gonna help me hook up Sammy and Jack or not?”

She narrows her eyes. “I'll pass,” she says. She sounds annoyed, but that's her baseline, and she doesn't sound more annoyed than usual, so Ben hangs in there. “If Stevens doesn't have the balls to say it himself, why should I do it for him? It's not like Jack couldn't do better.”

“Like me?” Ben challenges. Lily glares silently.

Here's the tricky part - Lily and Sammy are friends, sure, best friends even, but she's an overprotective sister first, and Sammy’s biggest critic second. She's not going to help Ben in this romantic master plan without incentive. And luckily for him, she dislikes him way more than she likes to dunk on Sammy.

“I'm leaving in a week, and I'm not leaving Sammy here still pining after Jack, okay?” he says firmly. “So either you help me get them together, or I'm signing onto your lease when you renew it next month and permanently moving into your brother’s bedroom.”

An empty threat. He's already stopped sleeping with Jack after an amicable discussion, and there's no way he's staying away from King Falls for another year, but Lily doesn't know how far he's willing to commit to screwing up her life. She taps a finger on her arm and strengthens her glare. Ben refuses to break.

“Fine,” she says eventually, with a tone that says she already regrets everything. “What's the plan, shortstack?”

  
  
  


"I've rewatched all my favourite romcoms in preparation for this operation," Ben says seriously. On the whiteboard behind him, he taps the A4 pages he’d printed from the ancient college library printer, the one that could only be coaxed into colour printing every three pages, leaving Michelle Pfeiffer’s face a slightly smudged streak of grey. " _ Bridget Jones' Diary, One Fine Day, In & Out, 27 Dresses _ . And I know most of those are straight, so I even watched an episode of  _ Glee _ ."

"Please," Lily says, "like you haven't seen every episode of  _ Glee _ at least twice."

"Irrelevant," Ben says, tapping the whiteboard with more aggression than strictly necessary. “Every classic romantic comedy has a structure. There's a meet cute, and then they get to know-"

“A what?” Lily interrupts, narrowing her eyes. “Are we still speaking English?”

“A meet cute,” Ben repeats. “You know, the quirky way the protagonists meet. Like… they both go shopping, and one of them needs pajama pants, and one needs a pajama shirt, so they shop together. You know.”

“I clearly don't,” Lily says, “but I don't want to talk about this longer than I have to.”

“So there's the meet cute,” Ben ploughs on, “and then they get to know each other, and either they hit it off right away but there's something in the way of them dating, or they hate each other, and the rest of the movie is them learning to love each other. So step one,” he taps the board again, indicating where he's written STEP ONE in messy letters, “is figuring out which romcom Jack and Sammy are in. And since I didn't know them when they had their meet cute…”

“Do you enjoy being deliberately irritating?” Lily asks. Ben shrugs.

“Jack thinks it's adorable,” he says, half brag, half threat. Lily, sharp as she is, glares at him for it.

“I think it's adorable that you think these two clowns are in any way comedic,” she replies. “What's the structure of a classic tragedy, again?”

“Tragedies don't have plucky best friend characters,” Ben shoots back. “Or helpful ex-boyfriends as wingmen. Ex-boyfriends are always petty and vengeous, like, uhh…”

“Are you trying to think of a Shakespeare play with an ex-boyfriend in it?” Lily asks. Even her amusement sounds condescending. 

“Laertes, from  _ Hamlet,  _ next question,” Ben says, and before she can say anything, “but listen. I've watched a lot of romcoms, and this is definitely one of them. And if it isn't, I'm gonna  _ make  _ it into one, so tell me about their goddamn meet cute already.”

It comes out more heated than he meant it to, but if anything, that seems to impress to Lily. She gives him a raised eyebrow and leans back in her chair, tipping it onto two legs. He wonders if she'd still be impressed if he nudged the chair off-balance until it tipped over. He squashes the urge. He can't matchmake if Lily kills him, after all.

“They met in class,” she says with a shrug. “I don't think it was cute. But he started telling me about Stevens pretty quick, and it all sounded good. Hell, for a while I thought maybe I could be friends with him.” As if she hadn’t spent half of yesterday with Sammy, watching  _ Matlock  _ reruns and throwing popcorn at every predictable plot twist.

“So they didn't need to learn to love each other,” Ben says slowly. Lily scoffs. Ben ignores her. “Which means there's something in the way of them dating.” He grabs a whiteboard marker and starts scrawling, pulling down the printed DVD cover of  _ 27 Dresses  _ with an apologetic glance at James Marsden’s badly coloured face.  _ Closet _ , he writes down, and then in quick succession,  _ Jack dating other people  _ and  _ Sammy allergic to feelings _ .

“What does that even say?” Lily asks with customary annoyance, making Ben jump. He'd forgotten she was even there, the way you eventually stop hearing the whining and clunking an old fridge makes, and in vain he covers up the first item on his impromptu list.

It's not like Lily doesn't know about Sammy and Jack's fights - she lives here too, although with the time she spends with various friends and business acquaintances and the odd hook-up, she's about as equal a housemate as Ben is. So she's been witness to the fights enough, but she's also the one who told Sammy to ‘man up and get it over with’, so Ben is less than comfortable discussing that particular subject with her. And more than a little vindictive over it still, which is why he just shoots Lily his best disarming grin, the one described by dates as ‘charming’ and classmates as ‘a bit weird’.

“Oh, you know,” he says brightly. Lily squints. “Thanks so much for all your help, Lily, you're a really good friend. And a good sister, so concerned with making sure your brother's love life is-"

“Alright, I'm out,” she says. She tips the chair back onto all four legs and slouches her way out of the room.

“I'll keep you updated!” Ben calls after her. She gives him the finger, but in a grudgingly respectful way. That's how Ben chooses to interpret it, anyway.

  
  
  
  


The next day, Ben wakes up bright and early, going through half-remembered yoga stretches from that one free class they held on the quad, the one taught by that woman with the crazy long legs. Tall people are admittedly a weakness for him. But he shrugs the thought off and hunts around his room for a new notebook. 

Thank God his roommate had moved out immediately after his exams ended, leaving Ben the room all to himself for the last two weeks. With this new project, he’d taken the opportunity to spread out, so that research papers on dopamine and relationship development are scattered all over the spare bed, with dot point lists taped to the walls and a stack of second hand DVDs piled in the corner. He even has a few bodice ripper romance novels on the desk, which he will absolutely never admit to anyone. He’ll probably just leave them here for next year’s tenants, or the cleaning staff. Probably.

But the notebook. He finally unearths a fresh one, this time blue and small, and grabs the nearest pen to scribble bold words into the first page.

STEP TWO, he writes, PLAN STORY BEATS.

One of Jack's vegan friends has put him onto the local farmer's market, so he’d insisted on a household outing. An adventure, he'd corrected himself, with a nervous laugh. Sammy had been unimpressed, obviously, but Lily's latest maybe-girlfriend is a vegetarian so she'd been at least vaguely interested in buying some suitably impressive and organic food for her.

“Girlfriends are what sweaty teenage boys with football concussions have,” Lily says as she reluctantly shoulders a tote bag. Ben’s never seen her with anything bigger than a utilitarian clutch or smaller than a backpack - it makes her look strangely wholesome, like she might not actually make someone cry at the market. “Sara is…”

“Just a friend?” Sammy suggests.

“Partner?” Ben offers.

“They’re lovers in the night time,” Jack says firmly. Lily throws her shoe at him.

The car ride there is full of good-natured bickering (between Jack and Sammy) and somewhat mean-spirited bickering (between Sammy and Lily), but once they arrive, the crowds force them to band together. Ben finds himself caught under Jack’s arm, keeping him from being jostled by the rush of 30-somethings all clamouring for the best price on fresh dragonfruit, in between wrangling their tiny dogs or complaining children.

“This is a terrible glimpse of an alternate future where I’m straight,” Jack says solemnly. At his shoulder, Sammy snorts.

“I can't even imagine,” he says. His tone is joking, but Ben sees him glance around automatically. Even in the dull roar of the crowd, he keeps his voice low.

But he's making jokes, even if they're quiet, and that's progress. “You thought I was straight for like, at least a month when we first met,” Jack says through a laugh.

Ben lets out a laugh as well, over the sound of Sammy's protests. “I didn't think you were straight! I didn't think you were  _ anything _ . I just minded my own business.”

“He's embarrassed that his gaydar is so busted,” Jack stage-whispers to Ben. Sammy scoffs and grabs Ben's shoulder, gently dragging him away from Jack and over to his side instead. 

“Jack is embarrassed that for once, someone didn't fall in love with him at first sight,” Sammy retorts. His face shifts a little at the end of the sentence, like he hadn't really thought before he spoke, and Ben grimaces, risking a glance at Jack.

Jack… is wearing an expression Ben can't place. His eyes are on Sammy, but after a second his gaze drops to the ground.

Interesting. They walk on in awkward silence for a few moments.

“I didn't fall in love with him,” Ben offers. Sammy shoots him a grateful look while Jack cracks a grin.

“You did a little bit,” he says, creeping his hand out to steal Ben back.

“Did not.”

“You did so!”

“I thought you were hot,” Ben says. “I can see clearly now.”

“I mean, you certainly didn't stick around for his sparkling personality,” Sammy says. He slings his arm around Ben's shoulder and yanks him back from where he'd been drifting back to Jack. Ben tucks himself into Sammy's side and beams smugly at Jack's bemused expression.

“Well,” Lily says, voice resigned. Okay, Ben had totally forgotten she was there, and clearly Sammy had too, with the way he starts. She pushes past them all and gives them a flat look, focussing on Ben. “You guys enjoy your game of Capture the Shortstack, I'm gonna go find some coffee that isn't ten dollars a cup. Have fun with the vegetables, kids.”

“I'm  _ two years _ younger than you!” Jack calls after her. She flips him off. He looks over at Ben and Sammy and shrugs, something about him still awkward. “There's some less crowded tables over there, you guys wanna..?”

Ben makes a decision. “I think I saw one of those mini pancake stands a while back,” he says, ever so subtly grabbing the back of Sammy's shirt so he can't run.

“Poffertjes?” Jack says.

“Bless you,” Ben replies. “We'll grab some for you, okay? Okay.”

He casually starts pulling Sammy away. Jack gives him a weird look, but no weirder than normal, so Ben relishes his success as they force their way through the crowd.

“What are you up to,” Sammy asks, resigned. Ben makes a  _ psshbhb _ sound.

“Why would I be up to something? I'm not doing anything, there's no plan,” he says. Sammy gives him a natural look of disappointment. “Unrelated, but when you said I shouldn't be a wingman, how serious were you about that? You were kinda drunk at the time, you didn't actually mean it, right?”

“Oh my God, Ben, are you serious?” Sammy hisses. He yanks Ben out of the main path and hunkers between an organic silk scarf stand and someone selling recycled paper origami animal figurines. There's a really cool bird design right by Ben's elbow but he's absolutely not distracted by it. “I absolutely meant it, this is  _ not  _ happening right now.”

“It's happening, dude!” Ben insists. “Did you see his face when you said that thing about love at first sight? Something is up, man, I really think you have a chance with this!”

Sammy lets out a long sigh and drags his hand over his face. He suddenly looks a lot older, and he usually has a couple premature lines, so it's enough to make Ben feel bad. Not badly enough to back off, but still. “I have a chance to screw this up,” he says sourly. “He's my best friend, Ben, it's not worth it.”

“You being happy isn't worth it?” Ben presses. Sammy grimaces.

“I'm happy now,” he says, unhappily.

“Yeah, I bet,” Ben says, and then when Sammy's frown deepens, “No, no, I know you are. Kind of. But… you could be happier, dude.”

“I could be unhappier, too,” Sammy points out.

“That's a shitty argument and you know it.” A yoga mom looks at him askance and he realises his voice has gotten loud. He makes an effort to calm himself and says, “Look, I get that you're fine with just being friends, and friendship is devalued in favour of romantic relationships anyway, and all you wanna do is keep him in your life. But  _ listen _ .” He pauses. Sammy is watching him attentively. “You clearly want to fuck him and I think you should just go for it.”

“ _ Ben!”  _ Sammy sputters, clearly caught between affront and laughter. Ben beams. “You're ridiculous. You're a ridiculous human being.”

“But..?” Ben presses. The laughter finally wins out and a smile breaks over Sammy's face.

“But you're a good friend,” he says warmly. He ruffles Ben's hair, smoothing back a curl that's stuck to his forehead in the sticky heat of the market, and Ben grins with the warmth in the gesture. He's still grinning as Sammy puts a hand on his back and pushes him back into the stream of people on the main pathway.

Halfway back to where they'd left Jack, Ben glances up at Sammy. The sun hits his choppy hair and highlights the blonde in it, making it look bright and stylish instead of greasy and unkempt as usual. The lines along his forehead are light, and there's no tension in his jaw. He looks… carefree, or as close to it as Ben's seen him.

“Are you going to let me keep wingman-ing you?” Ben asks. Sammy gives him a side-eye, still smiling. 

“Do I  _ let  _ you do anything?” he asks wryly. “You're gonna do it anyway.”

“I'd stop if you asked,” Ben says, in a rare moment of quiet seriousness. “If you really wanted me to. If you really thought you couldn't handle this. But I think you can. And I think Jack can handle it, too, once he stops being an ass.”

Sammy's smile wavers as he nods and looks away. Ben watches him, feeling like there's a bubble of silence around them, leaving them untouched by the crowd.

“So what are you planning?” Sammy asks.

Ben scratches his nose. “Technically,” he starts in a high-pitched voice, then coughs and continues, “technically no plan yet.  _ But,  _ that just means I’m still in the research stage! I’m gathering clues.”

“Mhm,” Sammy says, in that glorious sarcastic hum he practically has patented. “Can I hear the clues, then?”

“You don’t want any chance of screwing things up,” Ben says. Sammy clearly wasn’t expecting that serious an answer - he blinks and hesitates in his step. “So I’m not going to plan anything that makes you put your feelings out there on the line. He’s gonna come to you, dude, I promise.”

Sammy tilts his head, still looking startled. Then he says, “That’s - thanks, Ben.”

Ben beams at him. “So can I wingman now?” he asks. Sammy blinks again, and then laughs, pulling him into a side-hug.

“You can wingman,” he says, and Ben fistpumps, then quickly apologises to a startled old man walking past. “You really get into this romcom shit, it’s kind of weird.”

“All part of my brand,” Ben says with a shrug.

“Yeah, can’t argue with that.”

Eventually they find Jack standing trapped in front of a pile of bell peppers larger than his bicep. “Thank God,” he says, wading his way over to them. He looks them up and down and frowns. “Where’s the pancakes?”

Oh, right. “Misread the sign,” Ben says easily. “It was mini Dutch… pumpernickel. The bread?” Nailed it. 

“I don’t believe you?” Jack says, “But everything here is kind of crazy, so. That lady over there was telling me how to properly peel a bell pepper, I was scared for my life.”

Ben looks over at the lady in question, a very short white woman with blonde hair matted into something approximating dreadlocks. She looks back at him, and in unison, he and Jack both attempt to hide behind Sammy, to varying degrees of success.

Things are more peaceful once they escape the main rush and head for the outer stalls, but Sammy peels off eventually, citing a need for coffee and a begrudging need to see if Lily has torn anyone apart yet. Which leaves Ben and Jack to peruse the handmade crafts and ancient figurines. Ben watches as Jack runs his finger over a wooden cutting board carved into the shape of an elephant and makes appropriately impressed noises to the stall-owner before moving on. Here’s Ben’s moment to strike.

“We never really went on a date,” he says idly. Jack glances over at him.

“Did you ever want to?” he asks.

“Nah. Getting drunk and playing Super Smash Bros is basically my ideal night anyway.” Which is absolutely the truth. “It just seems weird that I know all this… uh,  _ intimate  _ stuff about you, but not what you do on a night out.”

Jack makes a face at the word  _ intimate,  _ but quickly turns thoughtful. “I mean, I like parties,” he says slowly. “I like music and dancing, and being around people. Sports matches are like that, too, just getting to be a part of something.”

He’s looking out into the middle distance almost dreamily, probably thinking about the rush of the crowd, or something equally poignant.

“Okay, but that’s a bad date,” Ben says. Jack pulls a face. “It is! Who wants to share their date with a thousand other people?”

“Parties are fun!” Jack protests.

“Listening to your date screaming over some sports bullshit is not fun,” Ben retorts. “Does Sammy have better date ideas than you?”

Instantly Jack becomes fascinated with a bundle of recycled fabric bags hanging from a hook in the stall to their left. “How would I know?” he says, casual as anything, but he keeps his face turned away from Ben’s slightly. 

Ben hides his own expression and says, “Because you’re friends? The best part of a date is telling your friends about it the next day.”

Jack laughs shortly. “Failed step one,” he says. Ben keeps watching him until he finally stops inspecting the bags and faces him again, looking resigned. “Sammy’s been on two dates, the whole time I’ve known him. One was coffee, the other was a movie, and he was miserable after both.”

“Miserable?” Ben repeats. Jack nods.

“I don’t think he wanted to go on either of them,” he admits. “The first time was in our freshman year. Some guy in our stats class asked him out, and he had a full-on panic attack in the bathrooms. I told him it’d probably do him good to try it, but the guy ended up being a dick.”

“That’s…” Ben thinks about Sammy, anxious and introverted, stuck on a public date with an obnoxious man. “That sounds like a nightmare.”

“He was pretty messed up afterwards,” Jack says with a grimace. “He barely even mentioned dating until last year, and that was… I don’t know. He just said he was going to see a movie with a guy, and then when he got home, he said he didn’t want to talk about it. I kinda got the feeling he was pressured into it, but the guy never bothered him again, so I didn’t push.”

“Jesus.” No wonder Sammy has his reservations. He’d planned some follow up questions, but instead they walk on in silence, both stewing over their respective thoughts.

The moment of connection between the leads of the romcom is essential to the development of the relationship. It’s when they share a common interest, or a sudden understanding, seeing each other in a romantic light for the first time. Turning over these clues in his head, a plan starts to formulate before Ben’s eyes. It’s risky, sure - but compromise is always risky, and Ben thinks he can stack the odds in Sammy’s favour. He’s going to give Sammy a date he’ll be happy over, even if it kills him.

  
  
  


“A club,” Lily says, more disbelieving than usual. Ben aggressively taps the words STEP THREE on the board.

“Hear me out,” he says. Lily stares. “Oh, I thought you’d keep talking over me. Okay, listen, I know it sounds terrible, but I’ve done my research!” A copy on  _ 10 Things I Hate About You  _ is sitting precariously on top of a stack of other DVDs on the seat next to Lily, but he plows on before she can comment. “Loud, crowded environments foster moments of intimacy. It sounds contradictory, but there’s nothing nothing more romantic than being alone together in a crowd. All I have to do is lay the groundwork with Jack, drop some hints that Sammy wants to get with him, and then push him in that direction! They’ll dance, Sammy’ll make some sarcastic comments, Jack will have his big confession moment, and everything goes smoothly!”

“Get with him?” Lily repeats. “Honestly, kid, I don’t even know where to start.”

“Seems like you started with my choice of phrasing, but I’ll let it pass,” Ben says. Lily crosses her arms and taps her foot impatiently.

“Sammy’s never met a dance he didn’t hate,” she says. “He’s gonna stand in a corner and scowl the whole night, and not even my brother’s best puppy eyes are gonna make him get out there. And that’s even assuming Jack's dumb ass gets what’s happening. Chances are he’s gonna fling himself at whatever twink is willing and make his own happy ending, if you know what I mean.”

“I do, and I’m weirdly grossed out that you’d say it,” Ben replies. “I know your natural pessimism is your defining feature, but for once, can’t you just believe that something might work out well, and make the people you care about really, truly happy?”

Lily continues tapping her foot. “No,” she says bluntly “This is gonna go terribly, and I’m gonna have to deal with the clean-up once you scurry back to your little mountain town, so forgive me for not pulling out a thank you parade.”

“Not forgiven,” Ben replies. “But I’ll let you apologise after the plan goes perfectly.”

  
  
  


There is literally no way Ben could have predicted this, but things go wrong almost immediately.

Sammy winces the second they get into the club, looking around at the other patrons skeptically. “I’m gonna grab a drink,” he says over the thumping music. Ben grabs Jack’s wrist and tugs him closer.

“Good idea!” he shouts. “Jack, you wanna go with him?”

This is the part where Jack agrees, of course, and listens to Sammy’s complaints at the bar. He’ll probably just offer to go somewhere more peaceful after this, but there’s always a chance he’ll take a shortcut right to the end and help him sneak off somewhere away from the dance floor, somewhere quieter and--

“No, you go,” Jack replies, bringing Ben’s plan to it’s first halt. “I’m gonna go dance!”

Which leaves Ben in the delightful company of Sammy’s scowl as they shuffle to get to the bar and wait for what seems like hours before the bartender even sees them.

“I really hope this isn’t part of your matchmaking plan, Ben,” Sammy says. Ben makes a high-pitched hum that he hopes is covered by the music.

“Maybe not this particular bit,” he says. Someone elbows his shoulder and he leans into Sammy, glaring at the person’s back. “When we get the drinks, you go find a table, and I’ll go dance with Jack, okay? I’ll drop the hint bomb and then say I’m tired, and then when we get to the table, he’ll ask if you wanna dance instead. It’s like, basic psychology.”

“Says the broadcast journalism major,” Sammy says, shaking his head.

They collect their drinks and go. Two raspberry vodkas for Ben, one almost done before he gets to the table, and a cider for Sammy, because he’s actually a deeply boring human being. 

“You’re like the Wheel of Fortune of people,” Ben tells him. Sammy sighs.

“Because I’m full of exciting surprises?” he says, with deep irony.

“More because old people and stoned college kids think you’re amazing,” Ben says. At least it makes Sammy laugh. He drains the last of his drink, pounds the other, regrets it immediately, and says, “I’m gonna find Jack. Get psyched, man, because I am making this happen for you.”

The second snag happens when he finds Jack. He’s dancing with a girl shorter than Ben, which makes for a wild height difference, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She writhes up against him, and puts her hand on his chest right as Jack spots Ben. He leans down and says something in the girl’s ear and she turns her head just enough to see Ben. He waves. She waves back with a laugh, says something to Jack, and then slips away into the crowd.

“She seemed friendly,” Ben says. Jack pulls him close, large hands resting on his hips, and Ben automatically falls into a familiar rhythm of moving with him.

“I think she was looking for a trophy boyfriend,” he says. “I had to let her down easy, so I said I already had one of those.”

Ben snorts, caught between glowing at the compliment and trying to remain focused on the task at hand. He’d really drunk that vodka way too fast, everything is already moving a bit too quick for him. “Has Sammy really never had a boyfriend before?” he asks, and then curses internally. Too much too fast, with the vodka and with the hints. 

Jack looks suspicious, but he nods. “Not that I’ve known,” he says. “Is this about earlier? I know we’ve been fighting about getting out of the closet, but it’s not really--”

“No, it’s fine, I was just thinking,” Ben babbles. He stumbles and grabs Jack’s belt loops for stability, and Jack’s grip on his hips tighten. “I was just thinking, he’s such a cool guy, right? He’s really nice, when he’s not being a sarcastic asshat. I just think he deserves someone who’s nice as well.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath against the sudden nausea. After all his careful planning, the scripting, the flash cards…

Jack speaks up, after what seems like a long time. “Yeah, he does,” he says, and his voice sounds strange. Ben looks up and sees him staring out into the crowd, in the vague direction of where he’d left Sammy.

Finally, some success. “He said he might wanna dance tonight,” Ben says, moving in for the kill. “That’s like, a momentous occasion, right?”

Jack’s gaze snaps back to him, and something complicated happens on his face too quick for Ben to follow. “Momentous,” he echoes, and then gives a weird smile. “You wanna head back over there?”

Which should be a complete mission success, happily ever after as the camera pans away, but of course when Ben leads Jack back to the table, Sammy has vanished, leaving only Ben’s empty glasses behind. Ben spins on his heel, but can’t find Sammy’s choppy haircut anywhere in the crowds.

“Shit, he was right here,” he mumbles. When he turns back, Jack is watching him. “Seriously, he was right here, and he couldn’t have gone to get another drink. Maybe he came to find us? Come on, let’s go back out-”

Jack’s hand shoots out and grabs his wrist, pulling him back before he can take a step. “How about we sit down,” he says, as quietly as he can with the speakers blaring. “He can handle a few minutes without you, yeah?”

“I guess,” Ben says, uncertain. Jack nudges him to a seat and takes the other one, crossing his arms on the table and leaning over it. 

“We haven’t really talked, since we… broke up?” he says, voice twisting up at the end. Ben shrugs. “You’ve been acting weird these past few days, or like - weirder, and… I don’t know. I don’t want it to be a thing where you can’t talk to me about stuff, just because we aren’t sleeping together anymore. I mean, we’re still friends, right?”

He says it confidently, but the way his eyes slide away tell a different story. Ben makes an alarmed noise and puts a hand on his arm.

“Yeah, duh, of course we are,” he says. Jack grins shyly at him, and Ben feels a momentary pang. It’s not that Jack doesn’t smile at him these days, that’s obviously untrue, but he did smile differently when it was just them. When he’d wake up to Ben already drinking coffee in bed next to him, or when Ben would complain about his cold knees poking his thighs. He pulls himself out of the maudlin thought that he’ll never get that again, tries to counter it by thinking of how if he just keeps it together, Sammy’s going to be the one getting those smiles soon. But the feeling lingers, and he says out loud, “I just didn’t expect it to be this hard to get past it, I guess.”

Jack blinks at him. Suddenly desperate to get out of this unexpectedly serious moment, Ben laughs nervously and pats Jack’s arm. “They don’t really make a lot of movies about a post-friends with benefits breakup, y’know? Or a lot of movies where the friends with benefits don’t end up falling in love. Which is pretty bullshit, when you think about it, because it can’t actually be that uncommon.”

Jack snorts. “You base way too much of your romantic knowledge off romcoms,” he says, grinning. “It’s like if a basketball player based all their moves off  _ Space Jam _ .”

Ben laughs, a genuine laugh this time, and says, “As if  _ One Fine Day  _ isn’t a perfect representative of two people developing a beautiful and healthy relationship. What do you base your romance knowledge on then, smart guy? It can’t be experience.”

They argue back and forth, detouring to the bar briefly, and after what feels like a few minutes but is probably closer to fifteen, Ben is a pretty decent amount of drunk. Still just sober enough that he’s circled back around to remembering the plan, but drunk enough that he decides it’s now or never.

“Listen,” Ben shouts. Jack obligingly shuts up and instead puts his chin on his hands, looking down at him with dark eyes. God, Ben should get a fucking medal for having the strength to give him up, and for retaining that strength while drunk. He fortifies himself against Jack’s cute face and points, only wavering slightly when Jack goes cross-eyed focusing on it. “Have you seen. The best romcom of all time. You know this, Jack.”

“ _ Die Hard _ ,” Jack says promptly.

“You piece of shit,” Ben says. “ _ 27 Dresses,  _ you absolute monster. You straight-passing monster.”

“That hurts,” Jack says, not sounding at all hurt. “ _ You  _ listen. McClane meets Al when he drops a body onto his car. That's the meet cute, right? And then they really like each other, but they can't get together because of that one asshole cop, and because McClane is stuck in this… this… Christmas tower hostage. And then! And then at the end, when he gets out, he sees Al! And they go to each other! And the music swells....”

He drifts off. Ben processes this. 

“I still hate it,” he says, “but I can work with it.” He pauses and adds, “Wait, were you actually paying attention when I was talking about the structure of romcoms?”

“Of course I was, babe,” Jack says softly. Ben feels himself swoon, then snaps himself out of it. A fucking medal, he deserves a fucking medal for all that he is suffering right now.

“Anyway,” he says, louder than strictly necessary. “ _ Die Hard _ . You macho rugby bastard. His wife was in there too, right, and she's great, but Al is the one who's with him the whole time. They bond, like, real shit, and that's how you know they're gonna be good together, you know?”

Jack’s unfortunately cute face is startlingly close, Ben suddenly realises. He'd scooted closer once they started talking  _ Die Hard _ , and now they're both sitting on the same side of the table, knees almost touching. Jack tilts his head and smiles, and Ben can't help closing the gap and kissing him.

It's just nice, he thinks to himself, guilty in a distant way, and he'd missed this, the way Jack kisses slow and then a series of quick pecks that always make Ben laugh into his mouth. Jack pulls away and smiles.

“You were actually paying attention when I made you watch  _ Die Hard _ ,” he murmurs, barely audible above the music. 

“I guess,” Ben says, equally quiet. He coughs and looks down at the table. The glass in his hand skitters across the table, out of his fumbling hands, just like his entire plan for the night. There's not much else that can go wrong tonight - Jack had ignored Sammy and stuck with Ben instead, he’d gotten much drunker than necessary, the hints he’d dropped for Jack had remained completely untouched, and now he'd kissed the man he'd been trying to matchmake with his best friend? He doesn't deserve a medal for this. He deserves Sammy kicking his ass. Not that Sammy ever would. Lily, then.

Some of his thought process must show, because the smile slides off Jack's face as he watches.

“Was that okay?” he asks, suddenly concerned. “I know we're not, y'know, anymore, but I thought…”

Ben wavers, caught between it being totally fine and  _ absolutely not fine.  _ Usually he's all about seeking affection wherever and however he can get it, and the occasional kiss from a mostly platonic friend who he happens to think is insanely hot is basically the jackpot, pun absolutely intended. But now it's just overwhelming, trying to fit this in with the increasingly complicated plan, and all he wants is to skip to the end of the romcom, where everything turns out fine, in spite of everything. 

There has to be a shortcut. “I have to tell you something,” he says finally. Jack just keeps looking concerned. “It's about Sammy.”

“Why do you keep bringing up Sammy every..?” Jack trails off, a weird expression passing over his face, like he's realised he was holding the puzzle upside down the whole time and can finally see what the picture's supposed to be. Bingo.

“I wasn't supposed to tell you,” Ben says, fiddling with the glass on the table again. “But I'm tired, man, and I'm drunk, and it wasn't supposed to happen like this.”

The music thumps on around them. After a second, Jack says, “I get it.” When Ben looks back at him, he's smiling, but it doesn't look particularly bright.

“Do you?” Ben asks, uncertain. “I thought you'd be… happier?”

Jack's expression wavers, concern creeping back in. “I am, Ben, really,” he says quietly, “but I don't know… he still has a lot of serious issues, Ben. Can you really handle all of that?”

A mild alarm tone sounds in Ben's head and he frowns. “What are you talking about?” he asks. Jack looks at him from under furrowed brows.

“He just isn't going to be comfortable being open, being out,” he says, almost gently. “That has a serious effect on a relationship, Ben, and it's not the sort of thing that can be fixed overnight  with the power of love, or whatever.”

“Yeah, I get that, Jack,” Ben replies. It sounds terse but he can't reign that back, annoyance rushing over him. “I do actually understand that real life isn't a movie, thanks, but excuse me for thinking you'd help him through it.”

This is the critical moment. He'd told Sammy sincerely that Jack, once he understood how Sammy felt, would quit the confrontational bullshit and work with him, for both their sake. Surely, with the prospect of a romantic relationship on the line…

Jack scowls, and Ben's heart sinks. “Why does it always have to be me dealing with it?” Jack snaps, and Ben throws his hands up, letting the glass fall on the table with a loud  _ thunk. _

“Because he's your friend!” he says, louder than he means to, but all he can feel now is just endless  _ disappointment. _ “But if you don't want to  _ deal with it _ , fine. You know, I told him you'd be an adult about this, but I guess I overestimated you, Jack. Sammy can do better than you.”

With that dramatic final line, he flounces off, only breaking the tension slightly by stumbling over someone’s shoe. He doesn’t look back.

It takes a couple minutes to find Sammy, even though it’s a small club. He’s huddled away from the floor, obviously - Ben checks the corners first, and then walks along the walls until he finds Sammy clutching a drink and scowling at a young couple grinding two feet from him. He looks up when Ben steps in close, face not so much lighting up as softening, just a bit.

“Sorry I disappeared,” he says. “I - I freaked out, a bit. Is Jack still--”

“Hey,” Ben interrupts. “Dance with me?”

Maybe it’s the emotion still caught in his throat, but Sammy doesn’t put up a fight - just nods and puts his drink down, and lets Ben drag him into the crowd.

Neither of them are particularly skilled at dancing, so they end up shuffling and bobbing in place, pressed together amidst a small sea of drunk college students releasing a semester’s worth of tension. Someone nudges Ben between the shoulderblades and pushes him directly into Sammy’s chest. Sammy automatically lifts a hand to his waist to keep him on his feet, and Ben can’t help but laugh.

“Classic romcom move,” he mumbles, and if that doesn’t sum up the night… kissed and then fought one member of the main couple, scored a romantic dance with the other, and probably ensured that they’ll never get together. He’s like a time traveler who’s just made all the wrong moves and erased an important historical event. Or something. He’s pretty drunk, to be mixing his film genres like this.

“What?” Sammy says, as quietly as possible while still being heard over the rhythmic piano of the song pumping from the stereos. Ben shakes his head and puts his forehead into Sammy’s collarbone, focusing on Sammy’s hand gently patting him on the back. “Did you drink too much? Shit, were you watching your drink? Come on, we can go--”

“I’m fine,” Ben says, equally quiet-but-not-really. Sammy stops, and before he can think better of it, Ben asks, “Do you think we’d make a good couple?”

Laughter stutters in Sammy’s chest - Ben feels it against his forehead, and it trickles through him like a hot drink. “The best,” Sammy says, dryly. “We’d be one of those couples that wears matching sweaters.”

“And go to brunch together every day,” Ben says into his chest.

“We'd talk like those creepy identical twins in movies, trading off sentences.”

“And sends all our friends Christmas cards with pictures of our dogs.”

“Our cats.”

“Ugh, I hate cats, they’re so creepy.”

“They’re good pets!”

“Hey, our first fight as a couple.” After a beat, they both break into laughter, Sammy finally pulling Ben into a proper hug, both of them just standing and holding each other while the music goes on around them.

Ben pulls away first, trying to discreetly wipe his eyes. Sammy is watching him with a fond look, and before Ben can stop himself, words rise up with the affection swelling inside him. “I wish…”

_ I wish I could love you the way you love Jack _ , he thinks, but the words don’t make it past his suddenly heavy tongue. Sammy doesn’t say anything, doesn’t give him any sort of look like he knows what Ben is thinking, and Ben swallows the words. They’re pretty pointless, anyway.

“Even if this doesn’t work, with Jack,” he says instead, “you’re always gonna have me, okay?”

The fond look on Sammy’s face deepens into something that might possibly be described as sappy. “I know,” he says simply, and ruffles Ben’s hair. Ben ducks his head to hide his grin. “I’d say you’re way too drunk, saying stuff like that, but you’re always saying stuff like that. Let’s go home anyway.”

Ben zones out somewhere between the dance floor and the table he'd left Jack at, letting Sammy lead him with an arm over his shoulder while he leans into him with bleary, half-closed eyes. He may be playing it up a bit, but he's suddenly tired of arguing with Jack, of Jack and Sammy fighting, of planning everything scrupulously only to have it fall apart. He just wants everything to be as easy as his and Sammy's relationship. He just wants Sammy to be happy.

Jack is saying something, and he and Sammy talk quietly while Ben puts his face in Sammy's ribs and ignores the world for a bit.

He wakes up from a light doze as someone drags him from the taxi, despite him having no memory of getting in one to begin with. The street outside the house is dark and quiet, and Ben doesn't really feel the need to take notice of anything in particular, safe and warm as he is, until someone dumps him onto the couch and drags the blanket from the back of it over him.

“Thanks,” he mutters, and the person pats him on the cheek. Jack, then - Sammy would ruffle his hair instead.

“No problem,” Jack replies. He hovers there for a moment, and when Ben cracks an eye open, he hunkers down to crouch next to the crouch properly. “Hey, about before…”

“Ngeurghgh,” Ben groans. Jack smiles, almost shyly.

“That was shitty, before, how I acted,” he says. Ben peels his face off the pillow and pays as much attention as he can. “You're right, I've been acting like a brat for a while to Sammy, and I know I have to apologise to him, but… I wanted you to know. Sammy… he's the most important person in my life. More than Lily, maybe. All I want is for him to be happy. And I've been pushing him to get out of the closet because I thought that was what would finally make him happy, but all I've done is make him miserable. I haven't been good to him, but  _ you  _ have, Ben. He's been  _ so _ happy since he met you, and I think… I think that’s the best thing I could do for him, just to not get in the way of you two. And I'm happy with that, I really am.”

This is sounding uncomfortably familiar. Ben squints as Jack sits back on his heels and continues, “So I'm gonna be an adult and do my best to be there for him, and for you, and make sure you guys work out, okay? No matter what.”

Ben stares. Jack looks at him earnestly, a brave smile on his face. Ben drops his face back into the pillow and screams.

_ “You are so fucking dumb _ ,” he groans. Jack makes an offended noise.

“I'm doing my best,” he says. Ben looks up and glares at him.

“You think I wanna date Sammy?  _ Sammy?  _ Why would I want to date Sammy?” he hisses. Jack flails his hands.

“Because he's great!” he says. “He's sweet, and funny, and he's kind, and he brought you Gatorade and saltines when you were hungover after that graduation party!”

“Yeah, that's why he's my best friend, genius!” Ben says. Jack looks disbelieving and more than a little shellshocked, so he adds, “But that's why  _ you  _ want to date him.”

Jack gapes at him. Sighing heavily, Ben hauls himself upright and plants his elbows on his knees, leaning forward to meet Jack's eyes. “I thought you might have feelings for him,” he says, “and then Sammy told me he liked you, and I was leaving in a few weeks, and I wanted… You know, I met you, and we had this crazy chemistry, and then I met Sammy and we just  _ clicked,  _ man. And suddenly I had two best friends who I wanted to be around forever but I  _ couldn't.  _ But I could do one last thing for them before I had to go, one last chance to make sure you were the happiest you could be. And I guess I screwed it up.”

He'd looked away from Jack halfway through his speech, but when he gives a pathetic sniff at the end, Jack reaches out and nudges his chin up.

“I think we all kind of screwed up here,” he says, and smiles, genuinely happy for the first time all night. “Maybe not Sammy, but we kind of worked against each other there for a bit, huh?”

“You worked against me,” Ben grumbles, but he smiles too. “My plan was flawless. I could have sold it to a major studio as a feature film and gotten millions.”

“Yeah, but everyone knows miscommunication is what the romcom industry runs on. If the plan goes flawlessly, it's a pretty boring movie.” With effort, he stands up and stretches at full height. Ben flops onto his back to keep his face in view. Tall bastard. “But I kinda like the sound of boring right now. I'll talk to Sammy in the morning, okay?”

“Good plan,” Ben says, and means it. He hesitates, then grabs Jack's hand and tugs him back into a hunched pose. “But - just so there's no miscommunication. You like Sammy, right?” 

Jack grins goofily. “I really like him, Ben,” he says. “I have for- for a long time.” Ben bites his lip.

“And you're really not gonna fight over the closet stuff anymore?” he asks. Jack's grin fades.

“I'm - I don't want to fight over it,” he says softly. “We'll talk. I'm gonna ask what I can do to help. I just did what I thought he needed before, but - we'll talk about it. Like adults, I promise,” he adds.

Ben nods and drops his hand. “My work is done,” he mumbles, eyes already closing against his will. He feels Jack pat his cheek again.

“Thanks, Ben,” he hears Jack reply, and that's the last thing he hears.

  
  
  
  


Usually Ben is up with the dawn, bright and fresh within seconds of waking, but today he comes to awareness slowly. Maybe because of the drinking. But there's a deep sense of accomplishment lingering in his chest, so he's content to doze in the weak light of morning.

The sound of soft footsteps passing by the couch isn't enough to break his sleepy trance, but a muffled conversation does pique his interest. The couch is set against the wall of their living room, facing the front door to the right and the tiny kitchen to the left, and with that view Ben can see Sammy clutching his coffee cup as Jack leans against the counter, just slightly further into Sammy's personal space than usual.

“I told myself it was worth it in the long run, if you were happy eventually,” Jack says. Ben closes his eyes. At least he can give them that small privacy, although at this point, he thinks he's earned a front seat to what is hopefully the dramatic confession scene of this trainwreck film. 

“And that was part of it, yeah, but I couldn't help thinking that maybe, if you were finally comfortable being out…” Jack sighs. Ben crosses his fingers under the blanket. “That maybe there was a chance you'd be comfortable being out with me. As my boyfriend.”

Silence follows. Ben crosses his fingers tighter. “And that's a shitty way to think about things, I know,” Jack continues, suddenly sounding much more nervous. “However you wanna do things from here, I'll back you one hundred percent, no matter how you feel about me--”

His voice cuts out suddenly, replaced by a sharp inhale that Ben knows from experience means Jack has just been kissed unexpectedly. He risks a peek - Sammy has lurched forward, coffee forgotten in favour of putting a hand on Jack's face and kissing him soundly. As he watches, Jack's hovering hands settle at Sammy's waist.

Internally, Ben performs a complex handshake high-five combo with himself. Externally, he tries to control the massive grin taking over his face.

Sammy breaks away after another few seconds, pulling back to look at Jack like - well, like he normally looks at Jack, but without that fake layer of detachment over top. “Dumbass,” he says warmly. “Like I wouldn't feel the same.”

Jack sags back against the counter and scrubs a hand through his hair. “Thank God, that would've been - wow. Shit, Sammy, I - I love you? Is that too much?”

Sammy is already lit up with emotion, but now he looks like he's just gotten a faceful of sunshine for the first time in years. “It's a lot,” he manages, “but I like a lot. I like you a lot. I love you, actually.”

“Cool,” Jack breathes.

“Yeah,” Sammy agrees.

“ _ Finally,”  _ Ben says, and immediately throws his hands up when they whip their heads around in unison. “Sorry! Didn't mean to interrupt. Pretend I'm not here. This is just like, the greatest moment of my life, I wingman-ed the hell out of you guys! Okay, sorry, not my moment, carry on.”

Sammy laughs, and Jack shakes his head. “Moment's over,” he says. He puts his hand on Sammy's back and continues, “Can we talk some more? On the back porch. I don't trust Ben not to liveblog this on Twitter.”

“As if I would!” Ben protests. “I have to protect this intellectual property for when I make it into the summer romance hit of the season!” Sammy grabs a stale bread roll from the counter and throws it at him. “Ow, okay, fine, go be in love somewhere else then, jerks.”

Jack grins widely as he guides Sammy away. Behind his back, Sammy looks at him with barely restrained delight and mouths,  _ thank you. _

Ben gives him a thumbs up. The back door closes quietly behind them, and Ben flops back down on the couch, eyes closed. He's earned a break from the action, anyway, and he can rest assured that they both have it covered from here.

  
  
  


“Two minutes, and then I'm leaving,” Lily says once they've all piled out of her energy efficient hatchback. The drop-off area of the airport isn't deserted, but there's only a few other people slowly trundling their bags along to their red-eye flight, so Ben figures they can get a proper goodbye in before a security guard shoos them away.

“I'm gonna miss your gentle, loving spirit the most, Lily,” he says sweetly. She gives him the finger in a kind gesture of farewell, and actually smiles as she does it.

Jack hauls Ben's overstuffed luggage out of the trunk while Sammy stands in front of him, hands in pockets. 

“So,” he says. “I didn't get you a going away present.”

“I didn't get you one either,” Ben points out. Sammy rolls his eyes.

“That's not how it works. And you did, anyway.”

“He's talking about me,” Jack calls out from behind the car.

“Not everything is about you, Jack,” Sammy calls back, and then to Ben, “But I did mean him.”

“Getting to actually make a real romcom plan was kind of the best present you could give me,” Ben says. “But, you know, consider sending me update texts as an ongoing present. If you want.”

He tries not to let uncertainty creep into his voice, but he's only just now realising that his two best friends are going to be starting up a relationship in a city ten hours from his hometown, and that isn't exactly the ideal situation for attentive communication. There is in fact every chance that they'll both forget him, not the second he leaves, but maybe after a few months or weeks or days--

Sammy pulls him into a tight hug, and Ben lets the tension drain out of his body. “You won't be able to get rid of us,” Sammy promises, and it's the nicest thing Ben's ever heard. He squeezes his arms around Sammy's waist and tries to memorise every detail of this moment. “We'll come see you soon, next Christmas, maybe. Or Hanukkah, whichever comes first.”

Ben huffs a laugh. “Mom will love that,” he says, and with great effort, pries himself away.

Jack has extricated the luggage from the trunk and is hovering patiently a few steps behind Sammy. Ben barely has to raise his hand before Jack is launching himself forward for a hug of his own. He picks Ben up by the waist and spins him around, ignoring Ben's startled yelp and Sammy's laughter.

“Sammy's right, you can't get rid of us now,” he says when he stops spinning, although he still doesn't let Ben's feet touch the ground. “At the very least you're stuck with my Twitter rants, I'll know if you put me on mute.”

“I'll unfollow you if you don't put me down,” Ben says, but he doesn't make any effort to struggle out of the hold and Jack knows it. He laughs and kisses Ben's cheek with a loud smacking sound, then finally lets him go free.

“Thank you, Ben,” he adds, eyes bright. Sammy nudges their shoulders together and Jack puts his arm around him, pulling him into his side. “For everything.”

That would be a pretty good way to end the film, Ben thinks as he shoulders his backpack and starts wheeling his suitcase away. The two of them huddled together under an orange streetlight in the early morning, waving him goodbye, the picture only slightly ruined by Lily leaning against the car and giving him an ironic salute. He waves back and heads inside the airport, content in the knowledge that, for once, this really is a happy ending.

**Author's Note:**

> it's the 20th here, but still the 19th in america, which makes this six months exactly since Night Owl was posted. it's been a crazy six months for me, with mental health issues, work stress, developments in my personal life, and most importantly, new fandoms. but so many of you stuck with this!!
> 
> thank you to everyone reading, but especially those who commented asking for more and reassuring me that people still cared. you all inspired me even at my lowest. a special shout out to helloearthlings, who's kept us all in content during the hiatus, and who pushed me with every fic they posted to work harder on this.
> 
> this is all very dramatic lmao. as always, stay tuned for more, hopefully in less than six months.


End file.
